System Upload
by Beloved-Soulless
Summary: Full summery inside. This is a story inspired by the song Order Made and a few other songs. SebXCiel. Still in progress.


**In the distant future, Sebastian has held onto Ciel's soul through the ages waiting for a time where he could re make his beloved. And now in the year 6013 the technology is available to only the rich and the pillaged and being one hell of a demon, Sebastian rises to the top and starts his work. (Season two does not exist.)**

**{Also I do not own Kuroshitsuji or the songs that inspired this story.}**

I woke, feel dissociated and afraid. I couldn't make heads or tails of where I was. Nothing was focusing and it blurred and changed when I tired and concentrated on it. I could hear sound around me and they made less sense. It was muffled like my head was under water. I tired to open my eyes but a part of me kept me from doing so. I was more afraid to his face looming...I paused, the memory fading before my eyes. Who's face I ask myself. I feel like this person is important but I can't remember. I want to cry...cry...what is a cry? My mind reels, I should know that.

"What is _"Pain"_?" Something asks me. Not a voice, no like words on paper, no emotion. "What is _"suffering"_?" Pain, pain is being held down and trapped, their faces crowded my vision, their distorted face dripping with sweat and blood. Laughing and chanting around the trapped boy, they bring a burning brand from the hearth on the opposite side of the room. The plunged it into the boys said, he screams out in agony, the sounds hurts every fiber of my being. and slowly it fades, the boys clawing at the stone beneath him fading and quieting. Soon the memory faded to nothing and I waited for the non voice to appear again.

The world aground me became into focus and it was more disorientating then before. It only lasted a moment before I was thrown back in to the dark. "What is _"tiredness"_?" the words flashed through me head. Tiredness, tiredness is working all day and night on paper work for an expansive company. It's focusing on the task at hand and not being distracted by trivial things like, deep red eyes, or glossy raven hair. Tiredness is holding a smile on my face long after it's wanted, flashing it took a girl who's voice gave me a headache. It's dancing till my feet are sore and blistered. Practicing school work till my brain might explode.

This time when I focused I was prepared. I saw everything and nothing all at once. A man, in a cluttered room, wires strung all over the walls. With a table was set out and on the table- The darkness plunged my vision and I felt dizzy again. It took longer for the words to appear. But I waited. And waited. Soon they came as bright as ever. "What is _"cold'_? What is _"hot"_?" Cold, cold is the fresh snow under my bear feet. It's the wind through the open carriage window going to the townhouse. It's the feeling when Red covered the ground, glistening in a dark pool. White skin dirtied by a vibrant color. Cold is the sight of him lying on the ground, no mattered how much I called or hit, not a movement or sound. It's the thought of never hearing _**-error- **_Sye, Om lryd _**-error-**_ again. Hot, hot is tea when I'm not feeling well. The perfect temperature of the bath water after a hard day. It's the feeling when the sun breaks through the clouds and reflects in his eyes. It's is the feeling when I'm cradled in his arms, running from those who lie and betray. Hot is the fire that's consuming everything, I can't find them, can move fast enough to get to them, they're scream are cut off and I have no way of finding anyone, it's the burning of the brand on my back.

When the memorizes faded I felt, empty. For the first time, void of anything. I could see the words in my mind, but I could reach for them, couldn't make them make sense. They flashes again, and again. But I ignored them. It started as a low hum but it grew louder and louder, shattering the nothingness around me. The words knocked me back when they finally broke though. "What is _"shyness"_? " "What is _"love"?" Shyness, shyness is hiding behind dads leg while strange people approach. It's the moment before I stepped out the carriage wearing that pink frilly dress. It's the feeling when I cry out an unknown name after having a nightmare. When I'm too proud to ask for help and it's obvious that I need it. When I was caught with my hand in the cookie jar, twice. _


End file.
